


Making An Effort is HARD!

by The_Original_Dominant



Series: We Dare To Stare [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Sex, Bathing/Washing, Bathtub Sex, Bubble Bath, Car Sex, Dreams, Erectile Dysfunction, First Kiss, First Time, Food Kink, Hand Jobs, Inappropriate Erections, Just multiple Aziraphales having sex with Crowley, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Selves, Mutual Masturbation, Pining, Porn, Praise Kink, Rubber Ducks, Sex Toys, Sex on a Car, Sleep Sex, Sort Of, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens), Virgin Crowley (Good Omens), read to find out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Original_Dominant/pseuds/The_Original_Dominant
Summary: Well, they were free to do anything now. They had earned it. They had flipped the finger, to their respective offices and chosen their side.Therefore, they had the right to do whatever they-“I can’t masturbate.”Crowley’s head whipped so fast, that he thought he gave himself whiplash.———Or a story about Aziraphale, who is struggling to make an effort and Crowley just wants to help him. (Even if he’s having trouble hiding his undying love for the angel.)This is a prequel to ‘Let Them Stare’ and ‘Let Us Stare’, but can be read on its own. Happy reading guys!
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: We Dare To Stare [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1434412
Comments: 36
Kudos: 180





	1. The ‘L’ Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys, how are we doing tonight?
> 
> As some of you may know, this is Part 3 of the ‘We Dare Stare’ series, but it can be read on its own. (You lucky things!) 
> 
> If you are reading part 2, then you already know that it is unfinished. Don’t worry, it will get completed and hopefully, it will be in time with this one! 
> 
> This story is a little more toned down on the smut, but it will get hot towards the end. I expect Crowley’s vivid imagination, will make up for a lot of the porn hehe
> 
> I’m aiming to upload every other Monday, but you never know, I may have a writing spree and finish it in a week! 
> 
> Let me know what you think,
> 
> Love, Dominant x

Back in Ancient Greece, the humans listed eight kinds of love:

1) Eros - Erotic love  
2) Philia - Affectionate love  
3) Storge - Familiar love  
4) Ludos - Playful love  
5) Mania - Obsessive love  
6) Pragma - Enduring love  
7) Philautia - Self-love  
8) Agape - Selfless love

Obviously, there are of course, many other forms of love. There is tough love, one-sided love, forbidden love and you can even love inanimate objects or food!

The list is endless!

And there are many ways to express love. Be it in the things that we say or the things that we do. Sometimes, you can say ‘I love you’, with just a look.

In 1601, when Crowley first felt this emotion, he denied it. He was a demon. They were incapable of love. That four-letter word didn’t exist in their vocabulary. It wasn’t even in their DNA!

You see when you fall, your love is scorched out of you, until you are nothing but skin and bones. It is impossible to love after such a traumatic event.

Or at least, that’s what Crowley believed.

However, over the decades the demon has come to the conclusion, that this...warm and fuzzy feeling, (he shuddered at the gross description of his emotions), could only be love. A love that has only ever shone for the angel.

And yet, Aziraphale did not feel the same way...

For the most part, Crowley knew that the angel loved all things, because...well...he was an angel! But Aziraphale was not in love with him. His comments in the past were proof enough.

 _“You go too fast for me”,_ was just one out of a thousand remarks, that Aziraphale had used, to nail Crowley’s love coffin shut.

The demon had been rejected...But that didn’t stop him from loving Aziraphale anyway! Truth is, he didn’t know how to stop.

It was an ‘ever-burning love.’ A smouldering love, that was always on the cusp of setting him on fire. (Not that Crowley minded, so long as he could watch Aziraphale smile, for one last time.)

Yup, Crowley was forever stuck on the big ‘L’ word. He was just too damn loveable!

He always knew that God had a sick sense of humour, but this was the worst one! To be so in love with someone, who was created so perfectly for you, but who only ever saw you as a friend...

That’s right. God herself, was the inventor of ‘The Friend Zone’ and Crowley had been the first to join.

The group had never known such a committed member. They ought to give him a medal or something. Or promote him to manager. Or head party planner at least!

Although, the demon would prefer to stay friend-zoned than lose Aziraphale entirely. He was just grateful, that the angel could not sense his love.

This was why Crowley wore sunglasses all the time. It was to conceal his love and avoid losing his friend. Aziraphale may not sense the demons feelings, but he might be able to see it.

At first, Crowley wore them to hide his snake eyes from the human’s. However, in the decades that followed, Crowley needed them to conceal his affectionate gazes.

Much like he was doing right now.

Crowley watched, as Aziraphale lifted his wine in his soft, sweet hand and brought the glass, to his plush lips. The pout always did him in.

Lips shouldn’t be that sinful. Especially on an angel!

Anytime that pout showed up, in disagreements or chats alike, Crowley would almost certainly cave and do whatever the angel wanted. The lips had the last word, (literally!).

Then Aziraphale’s glass tipped back and his perfect neck exposed itself. Not a blemish in sight. Not a scar or a freckle to be seen, just smooth delicious skin, begging to be bitten. To be claimed.

Crowley held back a possessive growl and gulped at his wine instead.

What made it worse, was the little bow he wore all the bloody time! It made him look like a little present. It was like Aziraphale was screaming, to be unwrapped and marked by him!

When the angel finally drained his glass and straightened, Crowley saw his eyes roll back, he knew what would come next. The moan.

  
It never failed to push Crowley over the edge.

Like everything else, that Aziraphale ever drank or ate, he acted as if it was the best thing he had tasted. Thus, he would always groan his approval.

His moan was always so full of passion, that it made Crowley wonder if he made the same sound after sex. The deep, rumbling hum of great satisfaction.

Followed by a loving sigh of, _“Oh Crowley, that was-“_

The angel interrupted his musings, by moaning lewdly and appraising the bottle. Oh, how Crowley wished to be that wine!

Unfortunately, the moan had unravelled his control and...He was half hard.

Crowley’s face burned and he cleared his throat awkwardly. He snarled inwardly at his weak corporation and wondered, why he hadn’t gone with the female parts that day.

Not that it would help him much, as the slick and smell alone would give him away. He should’ve just kept things simple and had nothing down there! At least then his arousal wouldn’t be on display!

Well, it was too late to think about it now and definitely too late to miracle it away. The angel would certainly notice the change and question him about it all night! There was only one thing left to do...

The demon sighed and crossed his legs, hiding his arousal instead. It would give up and flag eventually.

It wasn’t the first time, that Crowley had secreted a stiffie. Far from it!

The demon had been crossing his legs since Rome. Ever since the angel had first tempted him and Crowley got a proper view, of that lovely neck of his.

Sadly, Crowley’s brilliant imagination suddenly became his worst enemy back then. Correction, it still was. Even now, he was picturing the incredible ways, in which he could have Aziraphale.  
  
He had it all planned out.

First, they would kiss. He imagined the angel, leaning slowly towards him and pressing their lips hesitantly together. His eyes would ask, ‘Is this alright?’ and the demon would respond in kind; by dragging Aziraphale into his lap and snogging him into oblivion.

After that, they’d move things to the desk. Oh yes, that blasted desk! Many hours has the demon spent watching Aziraphale, fixing up some pissing book and thought of all the ways he could ravish him.

Which mainly consisted of removing his adorable bow tie and claiming a few love bites. He’d show that desk and angel, that he was better than any book there!

Speaking of books, they’d then have a quick stop at Aziraphale’s bookshelves. Just so Crowley could show off, to those stuffy nosed poets, what true desire actually looked like!

Then, stumbling upstairs and tearing off one another's clothes, they’d reach the bed. A big bed.

Big enough, so that Crowley could take the rest of eternity to make love to Aziraphale. He’d keep a record of course.

Noting every moan and bit of praise, that left the angels lips and know that they were all for him. Only for him.

But that was just in his imagination...And a vivid one too, judging by the rock hard-on, that he was now sporting.

This time, Crowley did growl and he grabbed at his wine desperately. He chugged down half of it, trying to drown the sodding tree stump, which was now taking residence in his pants!

He really hoped that his strange behaviour was going unnoticed. Or, for the demons sake, Aziraphale assumed that he was very drunk. Which wasn’t far from the truth really.

They were both happily drunk and they had good reason to be. They were celebrating after all!

It had been a whole month since they had stopped the apocalypse and avoided permanent discorporation. And what a month it had been!

They met almost daily now. They walked together through the park, went out to dinner, drank and conversed all night, and so on and so on. They were inseparable!

Well, they were free to do anything now. They had earned it. They had flipped the finger, to their respective offices and chosen their side.

Therefore, they had the right to do whatever they-

“I can’t masturbate.”

Crowley’s head whipped so hard to the side, that he thought he gave himself whiplash. Guess the angel had a different ‘L’ word in mind. And that ‘L’ word was, _Lust_.


	2. ‘M’ Is For...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, how yah doing?
> 
> Sorry for the delayed update, been busy with home stuff...hopefully this loooonger chapter makes up for it! I’ll try to get another chapter up asap! 
> 
> Appreciate all the support!
> 
> Love, Dominant x

Nah. No way. Nope. Not a chance in HELL!

It was impossible, that Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Principality of Earth, the prim and proper, buttoned-up, too many layers, bow wearing, heavenly bastard, who can’t even say the word ‘bugger’, without several drinks inside him, had just uttered the ‘M’ word...

Did Masturbating deserve a capital M? It did if the angel said it...which he definitely did _not!_

It just wasn’t plausible, because A) Aziraphale was an angel and such things were below him, B) Aziraphale was an angel and C) Aziraphale was a _fucking_ angel and there wasn’t enough booze on the planet, to get him to talk about sex!

Crowley set his wine glass down and tried to regain his concentration. He usually got a little sidetracked when he was pissed and the demon was most certainly drunk!

It just couldn’t be true. Somewhere along the way, his sober brain had passed out and his lovesick mind was bringing up some old seated fantasies.

Admittedly though, in Crowley’s dreams, Aziraphale had no problems in the bedroom. Usually it was little whispered confessions and sweet lovemaking. (Or sometimes desperate and dirty fucks, with the angel screaming _‘Faster! Harder!’)_

In all his years, (which was a considerably long time), the demon had never had an issue with making an effort. All he had to do was think about it and sure enough...there it would be.

It was...effortless.

However, as easy as it was for Crowley, he had not slept with anyone. The idea of being with a human, or worse a demon, sent acid through his veins. It was vile to him.

Besides, he only had eyes for the angel and if he couldn’t be with him, then Crowley would remain alone. That’s not to say he was innocent! Heavens no! He was a demon after all.

From cock rings to vibrators, from nipple clamps to butt plugs, Crowley had them all! He was practically the inventor of half the sex toys on the planet! He put the ‘D’ in Dildo.

(No really he did! He tried using a ‘C’, but Cildo wasn’t as catchy as Dildo.)

Oh yes, Crowley wasn’t a stranger to pleasure. He was more than aware of how it felt to fill or be filled; both with a cock and a cunt.

He didn’t really have a preference on either efforts, he just went with whatever he was feeling that day. At times, he didn’t even make one.

Something he wished that he’d done that day, as his cock was still unbearably hard! All this carnal thinking was really distracting him.

Still, he wouldn’t cope a day without making some sort of effort. A week tops! A month at best!

Yeah, a month...

A month, since they avoided the World from ending. Less than a month, since they dodged their own deaths. A few weeks of being totally free, to explore those forbidden places and learn about your body.

Less than a few weeks, to notice that something is wrong. A week, to realise you should probably talk about it, with the only other celestial being you know. A full day, to drink enough wine, to say that you can’t...that you can’t...

Crowley frowned.

A month. A month? A month!

Did that mean, that Aziraphale was really trying to-

“-Crowley?”

The demon blinked, “Hm?”

Aziraphale looked sadly at his folded hands, “What do I do?”

Crowley faltered, “Uhh...”

Blue intense eyes, glared at him sharply, “Did you even hear what I said?”

The demon gulped. Oh shit...

He immediately sobered and he didn’t even need to drain the alcohol out of his system. This could go very very badly.

Thinking fast, Crowley snorted and waved his arm, “Yeaaah! ‘Course I did! All ears me...Caught every word you sssaid.”

He snorted and shook his head. An angel jerking off? PAH! The audacity of it! He had clearly been talking about...something else.

The demon picked up his glass and took a sip of wine. He acted cool and waited for the angel to continue, with what he’d actually been saying.

Aziraphale was having none of it though and so pouted, “Really? Then what did I say?”

Crowley paled. It became a very long sip of wine...

On the outside, the demon remained calm and collected. While on the inside, he had a mental break down! His mind was on an anxious mantra of, ‘Fuck! _Fuck!_ Fuckity, fucking, fuck, _fuck!’_

How could Crowley even begin to explain, that what he believed the angel said was that he couldn’t masturbate? Who does that? Who even thinks that?

‘Think of something!’ His inner self demanded, ‘Say anything!’

But his brain went blank. It was as if an error sign had popped up and all systems were being shut down.

He was on his own here...

Crowley’s wine, now strained from the glass, left him no more time to think. His time had come. He put down his empty wine glass and opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

The angel tutted and urged impatiently, “Well?”

He decided to go with humour. Aziraphale loved jokes! It had saved him many times in the past and it would rescue him now.

All he had to do was come up with something truly hilarious...in less than three seconds.

The demon gave a nervous, broken laugh. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes. Crowley was doomed...

“Funny thing really...” He mumbled slowly, “‘cause what I thought you said and, you’re not gonna believe this, angel, but what I thought you said waaasss...”

His sentence trailed off, as Crowley glanced at Aziraphale, searching for an answer. In reply, the angel lifted his brow and gave him a challenging gaze. It was like he was egging him on and saying, ‘Go on! I dare you! Say what’s on your mind, you filthy serpent!’

The demon swallowed and then said very cautiously, “That...you can’t...”

Aziraphale lifted his chin and looked about a moment away from chucking him out for the next century. Crowley panicked and said the first thing that came into his head.

“Meditate!” The demon said at last, “I thought you said that...you couldn’t meditate.”

Aziraphale paused and the demon held his breath. Well, he could always sleep for the next century...

Then the angel tittered, “Oh, that is rather humorous.”

Aziraphale continued to chuckle quietly, as Crowley breathed a laugh, which sounded more relieved than amused. He secretly high-fived himself for thinking of something so quickly.

The demon, now brimming with swagger, relaxed back into his sprawl. He really was a genius.

“So...” Aziraphale queried more seriously, “Do you have any...advice?”

Before he could stop himself, Crowley asked, “On what?”

“On masturbation, damn you!” The angel declared frustratedly.

Both were stunned.

Aziraphale was shocked, because he hadn’t expected to shout at Crowley, let alone swear at the poor devil and so gave a hasty apology. Alternatively, Crowley was surprised, because THE ANGEL JUST ASKED FOR ADVICE ON MASTURBATING!

For a minute neither of them spoke. Silence perforated the air between them and almost made it hard to breathe.

He couldn’t believe it. It was all true! Aziraphale wanted to...he was trying to...

Did this mean that Aziraphale...fancied someone? Had a customer caught his eye? Had he bumped into a stranger and fallen in love?

Was Aziraphale...seeing someone!? That lead Crowley down a whole new line of questions.

What were they like? Were they tall or short? Were they old fashioned or a nightlife queen? Were they friendly? Were they... _nice?_

Were they better than Crowley?

 _‘Obviously.’_ A vicious voice sounding much like Aziraphale, whispered inside his mind. (Just like all the other comments he’d made. They haunted and mocked him.)

Then a surprising question, nestled in his contemplation: Was this person even human?

Crowley reeled back. Now _that_ , was certainly food for thought! Could Aziraphale be in love with another angel? Or, perish the thought, a...demon?

Eventually, Aziraphale broke the quiet and spoke with false chirpiness, “Oh, look! Your glass is empty. Let me open another bottle! Cabernet still fine for you?”

Without waiting for an answer, the angel stood up, adjusted his vest and selected a new bottle. As he started to fiddle with it, Crowley remained motionless, reduced to staring at Aziraphale.

He knew he should say something, but he just couldn’t. His brain was still rebooting, trying to fathom all the information he’d received.

The demon studied, Aziraphale’s stiff posture and his fumbling hands, knowing he was ashamed by his admittance. As the angel attempted to peel the foil off the wine with a watery smile, Crowley felt his heartthrob in sympathy.

Why should Aziraphale feel guilty for feeling desire? For needing relief? For wanting to sate these passions?

Just another reason why Crowley hated those angel scumbags. They probably told him he’d Fall or something. Ridiculous!

Angel or otherwise, everyone deserved to feel pleasure. Be it in eating, sleeping or...masturbating.

And Crowley, the King of Sin, Original Tempter, the slick and stylish, smooth-talking, tight jeans, shade wearing, devilish serpent, would teach him how. He would set his feelings aside and help Aziraphale if it was the last thing he’d do!

(Even if some ponce had snatched up his angel, Crowley would be the one to show him pleasure.)

The demon, shaking away his dazed state, sat up and said determinedly, “What effort have you tried with?”

Aziraphale jumped and made a startled sound. He also dropped the corkscrew and the bottle slipped, which he scrambled to catch. Crowley would have laughed if he weren’t so resolute on the issue at hand.

Once the angel had a firm grip on the wine and was clutching the corkscrew again, he stuttered out, “I-I’m sorry?”

“Your effort.” Crowley gestured towards his counterparts crotch, “Do you have a dick or a pussy?”

Aziraphale reddened and subconsciously concealed his groin, with the unopened wine, “I don’t see how knowing that will help!”

Crowley assessed his stance and then said decisively, “Sssooo...you can’t make anything then?”

Aziraphale glanced away defeatedly and sighed, “No. Nothing at all.”

Crowley tilted his head, “You’ve really never made one?”

“Certainly not!” Aziraphale exclaimed, “My superiors would have a fit if they heard I manifested...” the angel then blanched, as he whispered, _“genitals.”_

“But you don’t have superiors anymore.” Crowley reminded.

Aziraphale’s face lit up, “Precisely!”

The angel then placed the bottle between his legs; the base of the wine embraced between his juicy thighs. His soft hands then grasped the neck tightly and-

Crowley looked away and readjusted his trousers. Yup...not a good day for a cock.

While Aziraphale twisted the corkscrew, the demon pictured what life would be like, without a fanny or a prick. In his mind's eye, he imagined how infuriating his immortal life would be, if he couldn’t produce an effort, but still felt desire.

For starters, his empire of sex toys would become worthless and only serve to annoy. All those toys, built for his pleasure turned to nothing but litter. Would he ever find joy from sucking a dildo again?

And what of his own hands, his original tools for fun, would they be nothing too? Would they just become...hands to him?! Just fingers, thumbs and palms!

Not to mention how sad he’d be. To spend all that time, pining after Aziraphale; his lips, his neck, his moans and have no way of gratifying, his inner needs or wants. It would be the worst type of torture.

He truly felt remorseful for the angel. He had lived all this time, for six _thousand_ years, without ever experiencing true euphoria. Only now did Aziraphale feel safe enough to learn about his body.

It made Crowley all the more sure, to help his best friend.

The demon then listened to the cork, squeaking and squealing, as it resisted to be pulled from the wine. Aziraphale then coaxed silently at the bottle, “Come along, dear fellow! Out you come now...”

Crowley closed his eyes, picturing vividly, how the angel might ‘sweet talk’ his effort, into making an appearance. Why couldn’t he miracle it open, like any normal person?!

The angel then gave a more forceful tug and the bottled made a cute ‘pop’ sound. Crowley sighed thankfully and promised himself a good looong wank later.

Aziraphale then poured them more wine, refilling both glasses just shy of the rim. Crowley smirked, knowing he was still nervous and trying to numb the embarrassing conversation with more alcohol.

The angel then sat back down. He drank deeply from his wine; both of his trembling hands hugged the glass anxiously.

After a few uneasy sips, Aziraphale then said bashfully, “I assume you’ve ahh...” he peered timidly at the demon, “made an effort before?”

“Loads of times,” Crowley stated aloofly, not mentioning the erection between his legs. Then, wanting to assure his friend, went on, “But I’ve only experimented with...myself.”

Aziraphale perked at this and then gave him a quizzical look, “Experimented?”

Crowley smirked, “You ever heard of sex toys, angel?”

Aziraphale coloured beautifully, as he stammered, “Oh, I-I see! I uhh...understand now.”

The demon then teased, “I could get you some if you-”

“Out of the question!” Aziraphale bawled.

Crowley tutted regretfully, “Pity...”

And he meant it. It was such shame, that the angel wouldn’t use one. The image alone was...other-worldly.

The angel then insisted, “No, I’m sure I can take matters into my own hands.”

Crowley raised a brow.

The angel eyes bulged in mortification, “I-I didn’t mean-!”

“I know what you meant,” Crowley said smoothly, sparing him the embarrassment. He then inquired, “You do know how it works though? Right?”

“Of course.” Aziraphale toyed with his bowtie tensely, “I know the... _mechanics_ of it, yes, from-”

“Reading pornography?” Crowley couldn’t resist. It was too easy to get under his skin.

The angel bristled, “From biology books!”

Crowley clicked his tongue, “Ahh, makes sense why it’s not working then.”

Aziraphale lifted a brow inquisitively, “Oh? How so?”

“You’re thinking too much.” Crowley said simply, “It’s not just, insert tab A into slot B! It’s meant to be...fun! Erotic! Sssensual...Don’t focus on what your effort _should_ be doing, but rather what you _want_ to do with it.”

“You mean I should be,” The angel squirmed uncomfortably, “getting lost in the moment?”

“Exactly! You can’t grow a garden without any seeds!” Crowley raised his glass, “You just gotta switch that brain off, that’s all.”

As the demon sipped his wine, Aziraphale looked disheartened and disclosed silently, “I’m not sure I can...”

When the angel’s bottom lip wobbled, Crowley melted. His demon heart was too weak for Aziraphale.

Gathering all the strength he could, Crowley reassured, “We’ll work it out, angel. I promise.”

Aziraphale smiled, “Together?”

The demon swallowed back his feelings and nodded, “What are friends for...”

For the rest of the evening, the two of them drank in companionable silence. In the back of their minds though, they each imaged what tomorrow would bring.


	3. Seeds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but here it is! I hope you enjoy ❤️

Crowley loves a good dramatic entrance. It sets the tone for the day. You kick down a door and everyone stops to look at you. It tells them, ‘I’m here, bitches and I am NOT to be messed with! Now hand over the pastries, so I can see my angel!’

The demon also loves a good plan. A proper plan. Not last-minute plans, where you were mainly relying on hope and the wheels of a flaming Bentley.

No, Crowley much preferred to formulate his ideas completely. A step by step routine, with bullet points and tiny boxes to tick off. He found his projects had a more positive outcome that way.

Like his garden scheme. (Or as he privately called it, ‘Eden 2.0’.) Crowley had created the perfect formula, to growing any plant and the fruits of his labour were...uhh, in the fruit, duh!

You see the key, to any garden, is in its very first step. The seeds. You need to know them, inside and out before you can even plant them. You have to research, educate yourself, nurture them and, most importantly, bond with them.

You need to ask questions too and know the answers. Like: what season should they be planted? Do they need to be repotted every year? Are they an indoor or outdoor plant? Do they need more water or more sunlight?

Yeah, it's all in the seeds. It's all in the seeds...

Since Crowley was such an expert at gardening, he hoped to apply the same knowledge to Aziraphale and his...effort problem. The demon mused that it would be his first time growing an ‘angel flower’.

It would be his greatest mission yet! But first, they needed to know their seeds.

Did he mention he loved dramatic entrances?

With that, Crowley kicked open Aziraphale’s bookshop door, “Mornin’, angel! Got you some cakes.”

The following bang from the door shuddered through the entire shop. It rattled in the walls, shook the shelves and made the books quiver in anticipation. If Aziraphale wasn’t down there, then he definitely heard him from upstairs.

The demon had only seen his flat a few times, as it was mainly used for storage. Although, it did have a very nice kitchen, which he knew Aziraphale baked in.

His brain helpfully remembered, a very pleasurable wank he had just after seeing him in the kitchen. He had pictured the angel beating dough and covered in flour, clad only in his adorable, frilly blue apron. His lovely round bottom jiggling, as he temptingly looked back at him.

Gratefully, Crowley had decided not to make an effort today, learning from his mistake from last time. However, heat still gathered in his groin and he mentally pinned the thought for tonight...

Aziraphale, as it turned out, was not upstairs at all but was in his shop, which gave Crowley the treated sight to a very shocked and befuddled angel. He jumped right out of his skin, after hearing his entrance! Well, not quite, but he did startle spectacularly!

His round glasses jostled down his nose, his winged cup clattered to the desk and the book in his other hand, acted as a bar of soap. It slipped from one hand to the other, before landing on the floor with a loud thunk.

Aziraphale huffed irritable before berating him, “What the _hell_ are you playing at?!”

Crowley shivered. Hearing the angel blaspheme, no matter how feeble the swear, always aroused him. It was something he discovered in Rome.

They were on their way to trying oysters when Aziraphale stumbled on a bit of jagged pavement. The quiet ‘Bugger’, that angel muttered has never left Crowley.

It still shot fire down his spine and caused his knees to wobble. Effort or not, Crowley was still turned on by it.

Oh, what he’d give to hear him say ‘fuck’. It would be embedded in his dark soul forever.

Focusing on the here and now, Crowley offered Aziraphale his award-winning smile, only to remember that he couldn’t see it as he was still carrying a large stack of magazines. (And one pastry box.)

Giving up on his smile, the demon peeked above the mags and wiggled his brows instead, “Got you a present.”

“Yes, I can see that...” Aziraphale gave him a once over, “But what exactly is all this?”

Crowley didn’t answer, alternatively he sauntered, or rather waddled, over to the desk and deposited the heavy load. Aziraphale plucked up the cake box, which had been concealing the covers and, upon seeing them, his eyes doubled in size.

Crowley then patted the stack and supplied simply, “Seeds!”

“Seeds?!” Aziraphale proclaimed, “Crowley, these are...they’re...”

“Porn magazines, I know, BUT,” The demon brushed his fingers, over one of the aged covers, which was appropriately over one the men's arses, “They’re _original_ porn magazines.”

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes at him.

“What? I thought you’d appreciate their _antique_ value.” Crowley told him cheerfully, “I know how much you like collecting old books, so...” he waved at the pile, “Have at it.”

The angel gave him a petulant look, “You know, when I asked for your help, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind...”

The demon pouted, “But I went through a lot of trouble to get all these.”

(If by a lot of trouble, he meant moving them from his bedroom and into his Bentley without being caught, then it was _a lot_ of trouble.)

Aziraphale looked unconvinced and Crowley went on, “You gotta start somewhere, angel. You need to know what you like!”

Aziraphale looked at his folded hands, “And what if I already knew?”

The demon's heart broke a little bit more. If that wasn’t confirmation, that Aziraphale was interested in someone else, then he didn’t know what was!

He should be used to it by now, all this heartache but it still hurt. Fuck, did it hurt! He just hoped that whoever it was, worshipped him as much as he does...

Swallowing back his internal pain, Crowley clarified, “Well, it’s good to learn from their scenarios...like positions...”

The angel frowned, “Positions?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he could see he regretted asking, as Crowley picked up the first magazine at hand and opened it to a random page.

The demon repeated more slyly, “Positions.”

Aziraphale went pink and his eyes clamped shut. Even though he hadn’t seen anything, the squeak that left his mouth, was priceless. Despite his breaking heart, Crowley greedily memorised the noise and locked it away, for his sad wank later. (And didn’t that sound fun?)

After a while, when it seemed Aziraphale wasn’t about to look in the next century, Crowley flipped the magazine and examined it himself. The demon made a sharp hissing sound, sympathising with the two figures and their current...positions.

Crowley commented lowly, “Actually, probably best you didn’t see that one.”

As with all of Crowley’s devious temptations, he knew there was no greater power than curiosity itself. It was the reason he Fell, asking too many questions, but now he used that power for smaller temptations.

Like, enticing angels to looking at porn magazines.

And, as he knew it would, curiosity got the best of Aziraphale and he peered over Crowley’s shoulder. The demon smiled to himself, at yet another successful temptation.

There was a tiny gasp, as the angel stared at the page and then a flustered, “Oh my!”

“See?” Crowley comforted, “Not that bad when you get used to it.”

Aziraphale hummed in agreement and seemed to be lost in the image. The demon glanced back at his enrapt face and wondered what was going through his head.

Was he thinking about that person now? Did he picture them both, as the people on the page? Were they...happy together?

Crowley then blinked away his tears, thankful for his sunglasses, before letting out a humourless laugh, “I take it you want to keep these then?”

Aziraphale snapped out of his thoughts and sighed resignedly, “If I must...”

Crowley couldn’t help but giggle at his remorseful tone. As if he didn’t want to take a gander at them! £10 says the angel would be leafing through them, the minute he left!

The angel then tutted, “Couldn’t you have brought something more...romantic?”

Crowley snorted, as he gestured at the library surrounding them, “Figured you’d be covered on that front.”

“But this is fertiliser!” Aziraphale said disgustedly.

“Even better!” The demon reasserted proudly, “Makes stuff grow faster if you ask me.”

Aziraphale sputtered for a minute, before settling on saying firmly, “You, dear fellow, are obscene.”

A smile tugged the corners of his mouth. Oh angel, if only you knew...which reminded him!

“What are you trying to manifest?”

Aziraphale sighed sadly, “I thought we already covered this? I can’t _manifest_ anything.”

“I know that,” Crowley said wearily, “but you must have an idea of what you want...down there...” He made his point by motioning at Aziraphale’s front.

The angel clicked his tongue and consciously tugged at his waistcoat, “I really don’t see why you need to know that!”

‘Because I’m a pervert and enjoy torturing myself.’ Is what the demon wanted to say, instead, Crowley said, “Because I don’t know if you need this or not.”

He reached into his pocket and took out a small tube. He held it out to Aziraphale, who looked at it confusedly.

The angel looked back at him questionably, “What is it?”

“Oil’s a bit out of fashion these days,” Crowley explained, “we’re not exactly in Roman times anymore.”

The demon laughed awkwardly, but Aziraphale remained baffled. He really was innocent! If he had to tell him what lube was, then they had a long road ahead of them.

Not that Crowley minded, the more time he spent with Aziraphale the better. He was sure that as soon as he knew how to pleasure himself, he’d be too busy with his lover to pay him any attention.

Well, if you think about it there was really no need to rush then. They had all the time in the world and Crowley could go slow. Oh, he could go very slow.

The demon continued leisurely, “It’s alright if you have a pussy, you can make this stuff on the fly! But if you want a dick then...” He extended his hand again, “you’ll need this.”

Aziraphale’s eyes flickered to the lube and back to Crowley’s face. He knew they could both miracle the stuff whenever they wanted, but one of them was an angel. And, if Crowley knew him at all, then Aziraphale would refuse to make it, let alone buy it!

That’s if he wanted a prick...

Crowley bit into his tongue. The thought of tasting, Aziraphale’s freshly made cunt caused his mouth water. Equally, the thought of him with a cock, made the demon hunger for him.

Even without an effort, Crowley could feel the skin inflame and his body wondered why nothing was happening. Soon, it would be too hard to resist and he would have to make something down there.

Best make his escape soon...

After a few minutes, Aziraphale reached out and took the lube from his hand. He then pocketed the tube speedily, as if nothing had happened.

The two looked at each other. They both knew what this meant. Aziraphale was trying to make a cock.

Crowley swallowed and decided to bring out one of his dildos for his wank.

Aziraphale broke the silence and offered uneasily, “Shall I put the kettle on?”

The demon declined quickly, feeling the tension between his legs growing uncomfortable, “Nah, best be off. Lots of...demony stuff to do.”

‘Like fucking myself with a dildo, thinking about how much I love you.’ His demonic half-thought.

“Oh...” Aziraphale visibly deflated at his statement, “I suppose I’ll see you soon?”

Crowley nodded in assurance, “I’ll be round tomorrow.”

The angel brightened about this news and waved him off, “Mind how you go.”

Crowley gave his own little wave and made his way to the exit. Before he could leave, however, Aziraphale hastily asked, “What effort do you have?”

The demon went still. His hand was halfway to the door handle and one of his feet had stopped mid-step. The only thing that seemed to be moving was his thundering heart. He asked himself why it was there in the first place. But their bodes were strange and forever changing.

Like the effort between his legs, that had decided to make an appearance. It happened to be a vulva, which he could feel was getting wetter by the minute.

Well...at least Aziraphale wouldn’t be able to see his hard on.

To say Crowley was shocked by his question was an understatement! He guessed he should’ve seen it coming, since he asked Aziraphale first.

Seems only fair to honest as well.

Slowly, so very slowly, he looked back at Aziraphale. The angel stared at him with a look of...something. He didn’t really know what that look was. It was a mixture of curiosity, fear and...something else.

“Depends on my mood.” The demon admitted silently, “I like both, but tend not to make one unless I’m...” He shrugged uselessly, “in the mood.”

“I see.” Aziraphale murmured and then shockingly went on, “And are you usually in the mood?”

Crowley gulped and gave him a tired smile, “You have no idea.”

The angel nodded, pretending like he understood what he meant. He then turned back to the pile of old mags and patted it, “Thank you for my pornography. I’m sure I’ll find someone to buy them.”

Crowley sighed out a laugh, “Anytime.”

The demon then opened the door and hurried out of the bookshop. Before he left though, he took a peek back inside. He was pleased to see, that Aziraphale was already inspecting one of the magazines.

Crowley grinned to himself. ‘Operation: Big Bang 2.0’, was officially on the go! And someone owed him £10... (Not that he needed it, but still somebody owed him it!)


	4. A Good Bed To Lay In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter! 
> 
> A few high and lows in this one, which gets a bit sad towards the end. Just remember that this story does end happily and that these two are truly oblivious hehe
> 
> Love, Dominant x

True to his word, Crowley returned the next day. And the next day. And the next day after that. And everything was fine. Just fine.

For a whole week, he visited the angel and everything was fine. They went out, they chatted, they ate, they drank and went home. Sometimes they didn’t eat, sometimes they didn’t drink, sometimes they stayed in and sometimes they didn’t chat at all, but Crowley would always go home.

Which was fine! By then, Crowley was so pent up anyway that he barely made to his flat, before he was coming hard in his pants. (The term ‘Blue Balled’, was too vague for how worked up he was.)

So, if Crowley felt fine and Aziraphale was also fine, then everything must be fine! Right?!

Well, if you were to take a peek just beneath the surface of everything, then it was quite evident that things were not fine. In fact, things were very...unfine? Awkward? Intense? Yes, things were certainly tense!

Unsurprising really, since Crowley did give Aziraphale a load of porn, asked about what effort he wanted and then gave him some lube. Yeah...he could see how that _might_ make things uncomfortable.

It was as if they had stepped beyond, an unspoken line. A line that had been drawn and signposted, at the birth of their Arrangement. A bit like a, ‘do not tread on the grass’ sign, only this one said, ‘do not refer or speak of coitus.’

A sign they had now kicked over and burned. (Or rather the angel had kicked and Crowley had burned.)

Instead of feeling liberated, by the death of that sign and line, they were left feeling...weird. As if they had each paused, glanced around and asked, ‘what now?’

Thing is, neither of them had an answer to that.

Thus, they each pretended that everything was fine and chose to ignore the new territory they were in. For the most part, it seemed to work because Aziraphale said he was ‘fine’. (Although, if Crowley heard him say the word ‘fine’, just one more time, he would lose his blessed mind...)

Despite the demons hungry curiosity, always wondering where his porn mags went and how Aziraphale was getting on with them, he knew better than to pry. The angel was like a wild deer; shy, skittish and yet completely beautiful in its innocence.

This was the angels moment and nobody else's.

The last thing you do, when someone is having a moment or is indeed a deer, is to stick your headlights on and charge towards them. No! When the time was right, the deer would come to you.

Patience is what Crowley needed. It was perhaps the only virtue that he was honestly good at. You only had to look at his history, of holding back his love confessions for the angel, to know he was good at it!

Unfortunately, the demon hadn’t quite anticipated when said deer would approach him and was more than a little shocked when he did. Let’s just say, that Aziraphale’s timing was a little...early.

For most of the day, the two had been out in the park. They fed the ducks, walked about and talked like they always did. Albeit their conversation had been little stilted, but again Crowley knew it was because of the porn and the shift in their friendship.

So, the demon ignored it, as he had done for the past week and went about as usual. He reminisced about old times, rambled on about some of his new theories and made a few jokes. All so he could stir Aziraphale out of his stupor and set things back to normal.

His efforts, however, had been completely useless. Yet again, he was given another forced smile and a few simple words for his troubles.

Well, Crowley couldn’t have that and decided it was time for his secret weapon...Food! If there was one sure way, to get Aziraphale to smile it was with food! Even if he wasn’t comfortable, to talk about sex and get back to normality yet, then seeing him happy with food would have to do.

That was Crowley’s first mistake.

Within seconds of buying Aziraphale, a double strawberry ice cream cone, with a long, crudely shaped wafer stick, the demon knew he was done for. The sight alone, of the angel’s lovely pink tongue lapping the runny ice cream, set his mind wild.

He pictured the strawberry spheres, as his own testicles and the wafer stick acted as his shaft. The image, that was before Crowley, was the stunning view of Aziraphale giving him a blow job.

How could anyone not see that? It was like the sodding thing had been purposefully made to look like a cock and balls!

The angel continued to suck and lick the sweet mass leisurely, totally unaware that Crowley was staring at him hungrily. If the demon could trade lives with any food, it would be with the strawberry ice cream.

A few unattended drops then landed on Aziraphale’s plump fingers, which he quickly cleaned with his overzealous tongue. The following gratified moan and smile were so utterly bright, that the rest of the ice cream at the stall melted as well.

Crowley, meanwhile, had gripped the stick of his ice lolly so tightly, that a few splinters had punctured his skin. Not that the demon cared or even noticed, as he was too busy drooling over Aziraphale’s orgasmic display.

Honestly, the things the angel did with food...It was a sin within its own right! Anybody think he was doing it just to rile Crowley up!

When the angel wrapped his lips around the wafer stick and hummed, Crowley swore he could feel the vibrations in his own prick...which had not been there before! The demon glared at his trousers, frustrated, (but not surprised), by the newly made effort within.

The demon thought it best to focus on his forgotten lolly and let his erection flag. While he ate in silence, he tried to ignore the filthy display next to him. (Though the quiet moans and groans of delight did nothing to help his situation...)

Eventually his cock did wane, much to the poor things distress, but Crowley vowed to make up for it later. And he was a broken demon of his word.

When Aziraphale had finished his treat and the demon had regained his composure, they then made their way to the angel’s bookshop. Once there, Crowley said his goodbyes, leaving a slightly confused angel on the doorstep, as he practically leapt into his car and drove home.

Human’s, who were fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of the Bentley, may have mistaken it for a new kind of missile or a low flying jet plane. Some may even believe, that it was an alien UFO or some sort of anomaly in the fabric of space and time.

It was a wonder really that no one got hurt. But hey, what were demonic miracles for?

In no less than a minute later, his peaceful flat was suddenly interrupted by the horny storm that was Crowley. The demon, who had kicked open his front door and waved away all his clothes, was now bounding towards his bedroom full of fiery intent.

The plants, up until that point, had been enjoying the tranquil flat, in blissful silence. At the sound of their master's purposeful strides, however, the flowers began to shake violently.

That was until they saw him nude, to which the plants took a calming breath and settled for a quiet evening alone. (Quiet was perhaps a bit of stretch since Crowley was such a screamer in the bedroom. They’d be lucky if they didn’t go deaf!)

The demon, having reached his bedroom, then allowed his brain to replay all that had happened and permitted his body to react properly. His cock, believing it was in for another long night of pining, quickly woke up and eagerly grew stiff once more.

Well, if you were a prick and could see what Crowley had in mind then you’d be hard as well!

The serpent of Eden then slithered onto his large bed and reclined his head onto the black silk pillows. He let out a deep, velvety sigh and examined his keen body.

His corporation was already on edge and was quivering with anticipation. His brow had started to perspire, his cheeks were inflamed, his nipples had pebbled and his cock was leaking onto his panting tummy.

Satan, if Aziraphale only knew what he did to him! He was already ruined and he hadn’t even touched himself...yet.

At that, his prick jerked as if it were waving impatiently at him and asking, ‘so, what are you waiting for?!’

“Fair point...” The demon thought aloud and with a snap of his fingers, Crowley procured a dildo and lube.

He’d been using dildos quite a lot recently. Ever since he found out what effort the angel desired, Crowley had been fucking himself silly, with any and every dildo he had.

Why just yesterday morning, Crowley had used a dildo in the shower. He recalled the hot water, cascading down his shivering body, as he pounded the thick dildo stuck to the tiled wall.

The demon whimpered at the memory. That particular morning had been rather enjoyable all round. Aziraphale had even complimented and asked about the shampoo he was using.

Crowley, being a weak and needy thing, relished the attention earnestly, as if he were a flower seeking the sun. In fact, later that night, the demon repeated his shower affair only this time he played the angel’s words of praise.

It had been an enjoyable evening too...  
Crowley then felt his body burn with need and his cock jerked once more, reminding him to ‘get on with it!’

With that, Crowley used another quick miracle and prepared his hole. (Not like anyone was going to shout at him. They were on their own now. On their side.)

The demon then hooked one hand beneath his knee, his other leg spreading out instinctively, while his free hand grasped the dildo. He positioned the toy at his twitching hole and took a steadying breath in.

Crowley then suddenly remembered the reason he was so worked up in the first place. In his mind's eye, he saw Aziraphale’s dexterous tongue, savouring his ice cream again and wanted to replicate the image in some way.

Which is why, in a last-minute stroke of genius, (or so he thought...), he used one more miracle. The miracle granted the dildo to move on its own, working specifically in line with his pleasure, meaning he could focus on his cock with both hands.

This was his second mistake.

As the toy began to breach him, the ghost of his desires manoeuvring it slowly inside him, Crowley hissed and moaned wantonly. His left hand then scrambled on the sheets, searching for the lube and, once he found it, the demon poured a generous amount onto his shaking hand.

When the dildo pushed further into him, forcing a grunt out of him, Crowley began to stroke his cock with just his fingers tips. He recalled how Aziraphale’s tongue had swiped and flickered at the cool treat, and so mimicked the movement with his hand.

He traced the veins on his aching prick, while his other hand danced across his balls and imaged it was Aziraphale instead of his fingers. He pictured the hooded, delighted gaze he would get and his hole clenched longingly.

When the dildo had finally sheathed itself completely inside him, it stopped and paused, giving the demon a moment to adjust. Crowley used the time to take gulping breaths of air, before wrapping his palm around his feverish prick.

The demon gasped and knew he wouldn’t last for very long.

Just as the dildo started to pull away and ease back inside him, building itself into a steady rhythm, Crowley’s phone began to ring. The sound made him jump, but when he realised what it was he growled in annoyance.

“Bloody phone scammers!” The demon cursed tugging at his prick urgently, “I’ll make sure you suffer later.”

The interruption had staved off his orgasm somewhat and Crowley tried to ignore his phone, while he got back to the matter at hand. The thick dildo was already two steps ahead of him, as it had twisted itself and was now grinding into his prostate.

The new angle made the demon cry out and buck excitedly. His hands quickly got back to work and went about catching up with his toy.

While he messaged and played with his balls further, his other hand pumped and thumbed at his sensitive cock head. The sensation sent sparks down his spine and he moaned happily at the ceiling.

Distantly, the demon heard his house phone going to voicemail. Even in his aroused state, Crowley knew that it was unusual for scam artists to leave a message. Whoever was calling must be pretty desperate...much like he was!

The demon threw back his head and gasped, feeling his orgasm, drawing closer and closer. Just a few more strokes and he’d be-

_“Hello? Crowley?”_

Never in his six thousand years on earth, had Crowley moved so fast. Within half a millisecond, the demon had ceased masturbating and thrown the blankets over himself.

Still panting for breath, Crowley peeked above the covers and shouted, “A-Angel?! D-Don’t come in! I’m...uhh...getting cha-”

 _“Dear fellow, are you not home yet?”_ Aziraphale went on, not hearing the demons pleas, _“Hmm, perhaps you got sidetracked on your way back...”_

It was then that Crowley stupidly realised that the angel wasn’t actually there, but was leaving a voice message. He sighed in relief and settled back to listen to his message. He resisted the urge to continue his wank, knowing he’d regret it later.

Aziraphale sighed and continued, the crackly phone line becoming more evident, _“I was hoping we could talk about...something. It's about the uhh...oh, how do I put this?”_

He heard the angel pause, sounding more and more frazzled by the second. Crowley tilted his head and tried to figure out what it could be.

Then the angel breathed in confidently and said determinedly, _“You see, it's about my effort-”_

Crowley’s third and final mistake was answering the phone.

Without thinking, the demon waved his hand and extended the phone’s cord, until the receiver landed in his open palm, “What about it?”

A little stunned, Aziraphale stammered, _“Oh, you_ _are_ _home! Uhh, right, yes, I...Hello. I’m starting to get a little worried.”_

“Worried?” Crowley sighed out and moving onto his side, “About what?”

 _“About my...”_ The angel cleared his throat, as he whispered into the phone, _“Penis.”_

The demon snatched the phone away from his mouth and bit into his pillow, muffling his frantic moan. Words like that should not be such a turn on!

The dildo, which Crowley had utterly forgotten about, moved minutely. The demon's eyes bugged out, as he stared down the bed.

Well, the thing had been ordered to obey all his desires and what his desire wanted, was to be fucked into the bed. Whether the angel was on the phone or not, the dildo was going to keep going regardless.

Unless of course, Crowley controlled himself and didn’t think about sex. The dildo couldn’t move unless he thinking about it.

Easy enough. It was just a chat after all. He could do that. A chat about the angel’s dick.

The demon facepalmed. He was completely fucked...

He could always pull the toy out, but a dark and hungry side wanted to keep it there. He’d been waiting all day for this and he’ll be damned again if he was gonna stop now!

Taking a steadying breath in and thinking about Hastur’s greasy face, he put the phone back to his ear and said, “Why are you worried about your dick?”

 _“Because I can’t make one!”_ Aziraphale flustered down the line, _“I’ve been trying to and...I don’t know what else to do. I don’t even have nipples!”_

Crowley shut his eyes tightly and pictured the angel's bare chest, suddenly producing nipples. He wondered what they’d look like.

Would they be pink? Would they be pert? Would they be sensitive?

The demon hissed long and low, as the dildo thrusted once inside him.

 _“I’m glad you agree,”_ Aziraphale went on unaware, _“it is most frustrating!”_

Crowley bit his tongue and remembered the slimy walls of hell. Once the toy had stopped moving, he soothed, “These things take time, angel, you can’t expect it to happen overnight.”

 _“But it hasn’t been overnight, dear boy. Its been over a month now and nothing is happening.”_ The angel sniffed sadly and said quietly, _“Do you think I’m broken?”_

The demon’s heart cracked into two at the beseeching tone and he instantly reassured him, “No, you’re not broken.”

 _“Then what is it then?”_ Aziraphale implored, _“Why can’t I make a cock?”_

Both beings gasped in shock. The angel gasped because he had never said that word aloud before and the demon had gasped because his body had reacted to the new word.

The toy for one, as it it had started to move again. It had set a more tranquil pace, which made Crowley’s prick pulse with need. He attempted to think about something foul and unpleasant...but nothing came to mind.

The demon swallowed, “Maybe it's afraid.”

He could almost see Aziraphale’s bewildered face, as he questioned, _“Afraid?”_

“Yeah,” Crowley explained thoughtfully, “Maybe all this pressure of manifesting, has made your prick scared.”

 _“Preposterous!”_ The angel scoffed, _“Its only a-a-a...cock! It doesn’t have a mind of its own.”_

Crowley’s erection then twitched and begged him to be touched, which made him quip back, “I beg to differ...”

Aziraphale considered his point briefly and allowed, _“Let's say for a moment, that you’re right, what do I do about it?”_

The demon shrugged, “Dunno. Work out whats frightening you? Overcome it.” He then thought of the porn, that he’d given him and added, “Were the magazines too much? I can come by and pick them-”

 _“No!”_ Aziraphale said a little too quickly, _“I mean, it's not- I don’t believe its that.”_

Crowley smirked to himself, “Right.”

Aziraphale seemed to sense his smile and berated him weakly, _“Oh, hush.”_

The two went quiet, both enjoying the companionable silence that followed. For the first time that week, it felt like things were finally back to normal.

Only they weren’t. Not really. Aziraphale was still in love with someone else and Crowley was only there to help him out.

And like a fool, he stayed and did his best to advise him because he was so besotted with him. Because all he wanted was to see him happy.

Because he knew, one day soon, that Aziraphale wouldn’t need him anymore...

The dildo then slowed and vanished altogether. His erection wilted and agreed, that it was no longer in the mood. All he wanted now was to lay there and-

“What about sleeping?” Crowley then suggested.

_“What about it?”_

“Well,” He breathed out pensively, “its a great way to relax and gives the system a huge boost of energy. Might help to give your mind a rest, while your body...does its thing.”

Aziraphale, unsure what to say, mumbled, _“I suppose that could...Do you really think it could work?”_

“Absolutely.” The demon said resolutely, “I felt like I was walking on air, after my first nap.”

 _“Yes, and as I recall,”_ Aziraphale said fretfully, _“Your first ‘nap’ lasted for almost a century.”_

“Hmm, it was a good sleep I‘ll give you that.”

Crowley debated having another century-long sleep. Perhaps by then, the angel would’ve forgotten about him and he could-

 _“You won’t let that happen to me, will you, Crowley?”_ The angel entreated, _“Please promise me, that you’ll wake me up tomorrow morning.”_

The demon nodded grimly, “I promise.”

 _“Thank you.”_ Aziraphale sighed in relief before asking formally, _“Now, how do I go about sleeping then?”_

Crowley gave a quiet laugh, “You might wanna try using a bed and change it something more comfortable.”

 _“Right, of course, I’ll just umm,”_ There was a little whooshing sound and a hum of satisfaction, _“Ah, that’ll do nicely.”_

He then heard some rustling noises, which he assumed was Aziraphale getting into bed. The demon couldn’t help but comment, “I didn’t know you owned a bed.”

 _“Oh, well, its...”_ The angel said a bit flummoxed, _“It’s rather new...”_

“You just miracled it, didn’t you?”

There was a long pause, before Aziraphale lied terribly, _“No...”_

The demon giggled at that and he listened to the contented huff from the other end of the line. He could almost imagine, Aziraphale tucked up in his new bed and looking amused.

If Crowley closed his eyes and really thought hard enough, he could almost feel Aziraphale laying next to him. The warmth radiating off him and his love perpetuating the room.

The serpent, yearning the angel’s heat, rolled over and reached out to the vacant space beside him. He then pondered what side of the bed he would be on and if he was on his side too, reaching out like he was.

 _“What about you?”_ Aziraphale then asked, interrupting his thoughts, _“Will you be sleeping as well?”_

The demon swallowed back the lump in his throat, “Hopefully.”

 _“Splendid.”_ Aziraphale said joyfully, _“So, what do I do next?”_

“Well, you just sort of,” Crowley smoothed his hand across the pillow next to him and imagined he was comforting Aziraphale’s chest, “close your eyes and let your mind wander, until you drift off.”

 _“Sounds simple enough.”_ The angel replied cheerfully.

“Not always.” The demon intoned, “It might take a while to get used to it. Not everyone can fall asleep straight away. So, don’t be surprised if you struggle at first.”

 _“Can I call you if I do?”_ Aziraphale hushed gently.

“Course.” Crowley said meekly, “Anytime.”

 _“Perhaps when you wake me_ _we’ll go for breakfast somewhere?”_ The timbre in his voice had grown richer and deeper, as if he were half asleep already. 

Crowley’s dark soul clung to the sound and envisioned himself, waking up to his voice. Or better still, feeling the vibrations through Aziraphale’s chest, as he used him like a large pillow. 

“Good idea.” The demon spoke wearily, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in his sheets and delve into a deep slumber.

 _“Are you alright?”_ Aziraphale queried worriedly.

“Me? Yeah. I’m fine...” Crowley frowned and repeated more to himself, “just fine.”

 _“Good.”_ Aziraphale whispered, _“I’ll wish a goodnight then.”_

“Yup.” The demon yawned falsely, “Night, angel.”

The angel, then spoke in an overly sweet tone, _“May you dream of whatever you like best.”_

“Piss off.” Crowley laughed, before sending the receiver back to the office.

As the demon nestled deeper into bed, he tried to forget about what had happened and fall asleep. His body, however, wasn’t all too happy.

After all, he had broken his promise, of being fucked into the bed. Crowley reminded his effort, though, that he hadn’t specified when later would be and vowed he’d have one tomorrow.

He hadn’t used his flesh-light in a while, perhaps he’d use that. The idea seemed to appease his body and gradually he relaxed under the covers.

Briefly, the demon thought about his garden and how every seed needed a good bed to lay in. With a final thought, he miracled the angel’s bed to be extra comfortable, before settling into his own hard mattress and readied himself for a restless night.


End file.
